The Dried Beef wound up being a suitable alternative. I sliced the beef, cooked it in some butter and Worcestershire then added a bit of pepper for flavor. While that was cooking, in a separate saucepan, I mixed 3 tablespoons of melted butter with 3 tablespoons of flour. I whisked the two creating a roux. I added a cup and a half of milk and continued whisking. Once that had thickened I added the beef and a bit more Worcestershire then I put some bread in the toaster.
All in all dinner was pretty great. All of the ingredients, save the dried beef, were in my pantry (or fridge) and fortunately the dried beef only cost $1.83. *For those of you wondering: Yes, it tastes much better than it looks!

