A Bit of News

We're having another baby. Sooner rather than later, now. It's a boy. His initials are JHS. Somehow I never put the news of this pregnancy on the blog or Facebook. In real life, people know. Also, on Instagram. My friend Brooke, of Oliver Bee Photography, generously offered to snap a few belly shots for me. I graciously accepted her offer.

Dinner Conversation

Momma: How was your day?
Cole: Good.
Momma: Who made it good? (Implying which friends.)
Cole: God.
Momma: That is true. Who did you play with?
Cole: Everyone.
Momma: Who is everyone?
Cole: Jesus.
Momma: You played with Jesus?
Cole: No. He in my heart.

So many heart eyes. 

Potty Trained

Two weeks ago today, potty training chose us. And now, Cole is wake-time potty trained.

Around 17 months old, Cole was showing many of the textbook potty training readiness signs. But I wasn't ready. I was very pregnant with Ibbie. I had come to peace with the idea of two in diapers.  I wasn't ready to have a newborn and newly potty trained toddler. So we waited. I got Cole a little potty seat and let her use it whenever she felt inclined, which was fairly often, actually. Peter and I agreed that we'd potty train Cole once she was asking for it. And I've always heard to wait until the child is ready. So we waited.

After 10 months of sporadic potty use and requests for diaper changes, we realized that the time had come. Driving home from a furniture pickup, Cole let us know she needed to use her diaper and immediately requested to be changed. Peter looked at me and said, "So, it's time."

We prepped for three day potty training (which in our case would be 3 days with 10 months of practice). I made a little sticker chart and let Cole determine her own rewards. We explained to Cole that she would need to use the potty when she felt the urge to go. Then we took the diapers away. 

She took to it right away! For the first two days, for whatever reason, after nap time she begged to be put back in her diaper. I obliged for two days but on the third day her request was denied. There was an epic meltdown, followed promptly by a trip to the potty and then to the store to pick out panties. 

We boldly left the house on the second full day in panties and she went 80 minutes between potty breaks! I was impressed. Apparently we waited to potty train until she was more than ready. Now we have a potty trained two-year on our hands, which means we have a potty in the car and stop all the time when we are out to make potty breaks. (I line the bowl of the car potty with dog waste bags and keep wipes and hand-sanitizer at the ready. It makes on-the-go clean up a breeze.)

Note: We're going to hold off on sleep-time potty training until she is a bit older. 

Pumpkin Patch

It's October, so we decided to buy a pumpkin. Not just any pumpkin, but a pumpkin we picked. Sunday afternoon we loaded the girls into the car, drove to the pumpkin patch, and hoped for the best. Cole took to pumpkin seeking very quickly and narrowed her choice in minutes.

 With the pumpkin hunt over, we attempted to get a picture of the girls. We got two!

With the picture of the girls under our belts, Peter offered to try to get a picture with me in it.  While not the most traditional picture, it's a pretty fantastic snapshot of my life right now.

An Observation on Life at 15 Months

The summer after my junior year of college I spent six weeks in Ortigia, a little island in Sicily, studying Italian. I went to wrap up my foreign language credit. After taking Italian 101 at Clemson, I was able to take a condensed 201 summer course in Italy. Despite having a year of Italian under my belt, when I got to Italy I was overwhelmed by how little functional Italian I was able to speak.  I had a few phrases mastered, but for the most part I spent every conversation listening for a familiar word to hold on to.

After a few weeks, I realized that I was understanding more and more but my vocabulary acquisition was not keeping pace with my comprehension. While I was able to understand most of what heard, I was left replying, "I understand. But I don't have words to answer." It was certainly frustrating but I've recently gained a new appreciation for the experience. You see, Cole, at fifteen months, is just like me in Italy!

My baby has a few words she's mastered and a few signs but it's not much. And she's frustrated. She's been able to communicate with us using her signs and she's quick to answer Yes/No questions. She understands what I mean when I tell her to sit on her bottom or present her with instructions but she really can't respond verbally.  She is absolutely in the same place I was. Every week I notice her attempting new words and responding to more diverse instructions.  It'll just be a matter of time before she is spouting new words daily. But, for now, I think back to how I felt in Italy and then make every effort to speak in a way that will help her learn and reinforce the efforts she's making.

Confessions of a Nursing Mom: 1 Year 1 Month 29 Days

On April 16,  I nursed Cole for the last time. 1 year 1 month and 29 days after I started.

I thought she was we were going to take a bit more time to wean but there was a change. I attempted to pump for some relief over eight hours after Cole nursed. In ten minutes of pumping, I got less than one ounce of milk. Apparently sometime in recent history my milk supply depleted to nearly nothing. Cole was nursing for comfort, not nutrition. Once I realized that, the decision to stop nursing on a short timeline was that much easier. Cole nursed once daily for three days. Then we ended it. Peter and I offered a cup of cow's milk in place of nursing and she took to it.

For 48 hours, Cole wanted to nurse and would grab at me even when given milk. The first five days after we weaned, Cole couldn't come into our bed without wanting to nurse. She'd try to lift my shirt and would cry when I objected. But this morning we crossed a bridge. She came to cuddle with me in bed and just gave me a hug. She made no attempt to nurse and didn't linger.

As for me, because my milk supply was already gone, there's been little pain and no leaking. I imagine if I weren't pregnant that this would be more difficult emotionally. But September is coming.  Knowing Cole's role as big sister is looming, I'm okay giving her new boundaries and expectations. Sure, I look at her every day and wonder how she's gotten so big (and I know that will only be exaggerated come baby sister's arrival) but she is big and discovering new skills and words weekly. This week she's been practicing walking backwards, walking her head turned, spinning around in circles, running and identifying balls and hats when she sees them. It's a whole lot of fun.

Confessions of a Weaning Mom: The Perfect Storm

Thursday was rough. After four days of just two daily nursing sessions, there was a hiccup. A storm came.  A teething, stomach bug, weaning, rain storm. Cole just couldn't get any comfort. Two of her canine teeth cut this week and are now moving into the place. The other two are on the verge of cutting.  Unfortunately due to a sudden stomach bug that hit, I couldn't give her any medicine for the teething. (By the way, the bug hit both of us. It was torture). Also, it rained. That may not be a big deal for some people, but Cole is currently in a phase where the only place she'd like to be is outside. With the rain, going outside wasn't an option either. Cole just stood at the backdoor and cried. Finally, we arrived at Cole's last source of comfort: nursing. I caved and nursed her three times because it was the only comfort available.

Fortunately, we built the option of time into our weaning plan. Since Cole doesn't need to be weaned until late next month, I'm going to add a week or two to the transition. Cole is not ready to drop down to just one feeding yet. And I'm okay with that. Certainly after roughly fourteen months nursing, planning to wean in two weeks was ambitious. (Meredith, you called it!)

About the pictures: After a few hours with the bug, hunger set in. Cole decided it was time to eat so she climbed into her chair. Our princess is still cute when she's sick. The happy picture was right after a two hour nap. She seemed fine, rested, and better. But she wasn't. Sticking to the BRAT diet, I gave Cole 1/2 of a banana for lunch. It stayed down for an hour before she was ill in the car and to be changed, well stripped, on Summer Ave. Peter had some towels in his trunk, thank goodness, so I just cleaned her up and we were on our way back home.  Stomach bugs are tough.

Confessions of a Nursing Mom: Our Saga

Today is Day 2 in our first week of weaning.

Nursing wasn't something I thought too hard about. I knew I'd try and if it worked we'd stick with it. After Cole's initial latch was good, I set a goal of six months. As six months came and went, I decided that twelve months would be our next goal. Somehow, like six months, twelve months have come and gone. I've been nursing Cole for over a year now but the end is in sight. In May I have a weekend away with some ladies to celebrate a dear friend's bachelorette, so Cole will need to be weaned by them.  

Nursing Cole hasn't been especially hard, but it hasn't been easy either. I've dealt with over supply, two rounds of late mastitis, clogged ducts, a milk blister, and teeth. Cole got 8 teeth early on. And had 12 teeth by her first birthday. I had to teach her not to bite, which was a painful but very important lesson. Still, there are so many positive things to say about nursing. It's easy, convenient, good for the babe, good for the momma (especially aiding in weight loss post-pregnancy), and it provides structured time for daily skin to skin contact.

Despite our efforts, Cole's never taken a bottle (or breast milk in a sippy cup) or a pacifier.  And she doesn't have a lovey. The first habit she will have to break is nursing.  I know it's going to be hard for both of us because the girl loves to nurse. And as a result, I'll nurse pretty much anywhere. I nurse without a cover because Cole pulls them off anyway. I didn't set out to be any sort of breastfeeding advocate but I suppose that's where we've ended up. 

Now we've passed the year mark and I'm pregnant again. Somehow I thought my supply would decrease with the pregnancy and it still may. I know eventually my milk will change back to colostrum and that could turn Cole off entirely.  But with the upcoming Bachelorette weekend, we decided to attempt weaning in the next two weeks.  This week we're aiming to go from four feedings a day to two then next week from two to one. The last feeding we'll drop is the first one in the morning. Cole comes into our room and cuddles in the bed while she nurses first thing in the morning. It's a special time part of our daily routine for both of us so it's going to be tough. But it's also going to be okay, she already takes cow's milk from sippy.

(Some of you may think I should consider nursing Cole up to baby sister's arrival then nurse them both. I've actually thought about that at length and even researched the logistics of tandem nursing. But, that is not for us. My body needs a break and Cole is ready to move on. The girl guzzles cow's milk when it's provided so I know that won't be an issue.)

I realize once she's weaned I may long to nurse her. Particularly at times that I know it could provide comfort. Just the same, she's growing up. She's becoming more independent and vocal by the day. Recently she's taken to climbing into our laps with a book in hand, asking to read together. I choose to believe whatever points of connection we may lose with weening will be replaced with new ones. While our sweet, still infant may no long look up into my face while nursing, our active toddler will smile and laugh as we chase her around the room until we catch her for hug. I suppose it's all just a reminder that nearly everything changes and that's not all bad.

Back Home

I've never written about it here, but I had a job from April 30 until December 2 this year.
I was asked to step in as a band-aid, or interim, employee for an organization I care deeply for.
My hours ranged from less than forty to over ninety hours a month.
I worked some from home and some from the office.  And all day from my phone.
It was part-time but it was all of the time.

May to December was trying personally and, on a grander scale, for the organization as a whole.
My precious girl grew from a wee bit to an assisted walker. All while I was learning how to be a mom. P.S. I'm still learning and will be for awhile.
Working from home turned out to be less successful than I imagined, so Cole and I spent a great deal of time in the office. The not childproofed office.

I quit in August, knowing we needed a replacement. Waiting, praying for a replacement. We found one in late November. 
On the evening of December 2, I finally erased the work account from my phone:

The last ten days have been remarkable.  I feel lighter. I am lighter!
I didn't even realize the physical toll of the stress until it was lifted.
I'm still helping my replacement almost daily. My perfect, wonderful, answer-to-prayer replacement!
I'm happy to be home. All the time. With my babe. For my babe.

I may write more about this season down the road. Or I may not.
I'll likely work again soon. Not again for an organization I'm so involved with. Back in education.
With more childcare! And on different terms. Maybe with a contract. Hopefully with a contract.
Right now, I'm focusing my marriage, my family, and relationships I've put on hold since April.  
I can't wait to feel like I've gotten myself and my time back.
Do know,  I'm on my way.
Well on my way.

Confessions of a Nursing Mom: Teeth

I have been nursing Cole for 206 days.
And I have been blessed with an ample milk supply.
Nursing has been wildly convenient since there is no prep work involved.
I've exceeded my goal of six months nursing, though my reach goal of one year is still a ways off.
Yes, I make goals for all kinds of stuff. Then I take things day by day.

But now Cole has teeth.
Four teeth.
Two on the top. Two on the bottom.
Pinchers. Sharp, little pinchers.
These itty bitty pearly whites are game changers.

Anyone have success dealing with a wee biter?
I've been teaching "No bite." And I've popped her on the cheek.
I've ended the feeding.  And I've pulled her closer.
I've heard of momma's biting back.
But I'm not there yet. Maybe I'm close.
Or maybe it's time to buy some cabbage leaves. And reintroduce under-wire to my life.

Confessions of a Nursing Mom: The Hickey

Cole loves to suck.
And it's possible she believes sucking on my body- regardless of where- will produce milk.

Yesterday she attempted to nurse my chin. It was amusing.
So Peter and I laughed while I let her try for 10 or 15 seconds. 

Evidently, it was too long! I woke up this morning with a hickey on my chin.