Confessions of a Nursing Mom: 1 Year 1 Month 29 Days

On April 16,  I nursed Cole for the last time. 1 year 1 month and 29 days after I started.

I thought she was we were going to take a bit more time to wean but there was a change. I attempted to pump for some relief over eight hours after Cole nursed. In ten minutes of pumping, I got less than one ounce of milk. Apparently sometime in recent history my milk supply depleted to nearly nothing. Cole was nursing for comfort, not nutrition. Once I realized that, the decision to stop nursing on a short timeline was that much easier. Cole nursed once daily for three days. Then we ended it. Peter and I offered a cup of cow's milk in place of nursing and she took to it.

For 48 hours, Cole wanted to nurse and would grab at me even when given milk. The first five days after we weaned, Cole couldn't come into our bed without wanting to nurse. She'd try to lift my shirt and would cry when I objected. But this morning we crossed a bridge. She came to cuddle with me in bed and just gave me a hug. She made no attempt to nurse and didn't linger.

As for me, because my milk supply was already gone, there's been little pain and no leaking. I imagine if I weren't pregnant that this would be more difficult emotionally. But September is coming.  Knowing Cole's role as big sister is looming, I'm okay giving her new boundaries and expectations. Sure, I look at her every day and wonder how she's gotten so big (and I know that will only be exaggerated come baby sister's arrival) but she is big and discovering new skills and words weekly. This week she's been practicing walking backwards, walking her head turned, spinning around in circles, running and identifying balls and hats when she sees them. It's a whole lot of fun.

Confessions of a Weaning Mom: The Perfect Storm

Thursday was rough. After four days of just two daily nursing sessions, there was a hiccup. A storm came.  A teething, stomach bug, weaning, rain storm. Cole just couldn't get any comfort. Two of her canine teeth cut this week and are now moving into the place. The other two are on the verge of cutting.  Unfortunately due to a sudden stomach bug that hit, I couldn't give her any medicine for the teething. (By the way, the bug hit both of us. It was torture). Also, it rained. That may not be a big deal for some people, but Cole is currently in a phase where the only place she'd like to be is outside. With the rain, going outside wasn't an option either. Cole just stood at the backdoor and cried. Finally, we arrived at Cole's last source of comfort: nursing. I caved and nursed her three times because it was the only comfort available.

Fortunately, we built the option of time into our weaning plan. Since Cole doesn't need to be weaned until late next month, I'm going to add a week or two to the transition. Cole is not ready to drop down to just one feeding yet. And I'm okay with that. Certainly after roughly fourteen months nursing, planning to wean in two weeks was ambitious. (Meredith, you called it!)

About the pictures: After a few hours with the bug, hunger set in. Cole decided it was time to eat so she climbed into her chair. Our princess is still cute when she's sick. The happy picture was right after a two hour nap. She seemed fine, rested, and better. But she wasn't. Sticking to the BRAT diet, I gave Cole 1/2 of a banana for lunch. It stayed down for an hour before she was ill in the car and to be changed, well stripped, on Summer Ave. Peter had some towels in his trunk, thank goodness, so I just cleaned her up and we were on our way back home.  Stomach bugs are tough.

Confessions of a Nursing Mom: Our Saga

Today is Day 2 in our first week of weaning.

Nursing wasn't something I thought too hard about. I knew I'd try and if it worked we'd stick with it. After Cole's initial latch was good, I set a goal of six months. As six months came and went, I decided that twelve months would be our next goal. Somehow, like six months, twelve months have come and gone. I've been nursing Cole for over a year now but the end is in sight. In May I have a weekend away with some ladies to celebrate a dear friend's bachelorette, so Cole will need to be weaned by them.  

Nursing Cole hasn't been especially hard, but it hasn't been easy either. I've dealt with over supply, two rounds of late mastitis, clogged ducts, a milk blister, and teeth. Cole got 8 teeth early on. And had 12 teeth by her first birthday. I had to teach her not to bite, which was a painful but very important lesson. Still, there are so many positive things to say about nursing. It's easy, convenient, good for the babe, good for the momma (especially aiding in weight loss post-pregnancy), and it provides structured time for daily skin to skin contact.

Despite our efforts, Cole's never taken a bottle (or breast milk in a sippy cup) or a pacifier.  And she doesn't have a lovey. The first habit she will have to break is nursing.  I know it's going to be hard for both of us because the girl loves to nurse. And as a result, I'll nurse pretty much anywhere. I nurse without a cover because Cole pulls them off anyway. I didn't set out to be any sort of breastfeeding advocate but I suppose that's where we've ended up. 

Now we've passed the year mark and I'm pregnant again. Somehow I thought my supply would decrease with the pregnancy and it still may. I know eventually my milk will change back to colostrum and that could turn Cole off entirely.  But with the upcoming Bachelorette weekend, we decided to attempt weaning in the next two weeks.  This week we're aiming to go from four feedings a day to two then next week from two to one. The last feeding we'll drop is the first one in the morning. Cole comes into our room and cuddles in the bed while she nurses first thing in the morning. It's a special time part of our daily routine for both of us so it's going to be tough. But it's also going to be okay, she already takes cow's milk from sippy.

(Some of you may think I should consider nursing Cole up to baby sister's arrival then nurse them both. I've actually thought about that at length and even researched the logistics of tandem nursing. But, that is not for us. My body needs a break and Cole is ready to move on. The girl guzzles cow's milk when it's provided so I know that won't be an issue.)

I realize once she's weaned I may long to nurse her. Particularly at times that I know it could provide comfort. Just the same, she's growing up. She's becoming more independent and vocal by the day. Recently she's taken to climbing into our laps with a book in hand, asking to read together. I choose to believe whatever points of connection we may lose with weening will be replaced with new ones. While our sweet, still infant may no long look up into my face while nursing, our active toddler will smile and laugh as we chase her around the room until we catch her for hug. I suppose it's all just a reminder that nearly everything changes and that's not all bad.

Confessions of a Nursing Mom: Teeth

I have been nursing Cole for 206 days.
And I have been blessed with an ample milk supply.
Nursing has been wildly convenient since there is no prep work involved.
I've exceeded my goal of six months nursing, though my reach goal of one year is still a ways off.
Yes, I make goals for all kinds of stuff. Then I take things day by day.

But now Cole has teeth.
Four teeth.
Two on the top. Two on the bottom.
Pinchers. Sharp, little pinchers.
These itty bitty pearly whites are game changers.

Anyone have success dealing with a wee biter?
I've been teaching "No bite." And I've popped her on the cheek.
I've ended the feeding.  And I've pulled her closer.
I've heard of momma's biting back.
But I'm not there yet. Maybe I'm close.
Or maybe it's time to buy some cabbage leaves. And reintroduce under-wire to my life.

Confessions of a Nursing Mom: The Hickey

Cole loves to suck.
And it's possible she believes sucking on my body- regardless of where- will produce milk.

Yesterday she attempted to nurse my chin. It was amusing.
So Peter and I laughed while I let her try for 10 or 15 seconds. 

Evidently, it was too long! I woke up this morning with a hickey on my chin.