A Year

A year ago today, we moved to Delaware. I have a hard time with that. On one hand, it feels like we've been here for ages. On the other,  I think about Memphis like we just left yesterday.

A few weeks ago, I was a speaker at our church's women's conference. The theme was God's Faithfulness Through All Seasons. Women of different ages and stages were invited to speak about their particular season of life. I was asked to address my experience in young motherhood, recent relocation, and finding a new church home.  I'm a talker and those are some meaty subjects, so I easily filled my fifteen minutes. In preparing my little talk, I took some time to think about the last year.

I know a few things about relocation to be true. God went before us. We moved because He called us to. Moving is hard. I realized one of the greatest challenges of relocation is living in the tension between the new place and the old. I have a heart that wants to live two places when we've only been called to one. It's so tempting to compare our life in Memphis to our new life in Delaware but it's not productive. We had years of roots laid down in Tennessee. I assumed it would take two years before Delaware felt like home and we're still on track for that. I'm grateful for technology and the ability to keep up with friends far away. I wish air travel wasn't so costly. I left part of my heart in Memphis and think about our friends from there daily.

Our Senior Pastor in Memphis left us with parting word that I still remember, "It's not goodbye. It's until we meet again." How I long for everyone I love to be in one place!

"All Good Things. All Good Things."

We watch Frozen, often. Please imagine Olaf reporting, "All good things. All good things."

Friday morning we closed on a new house. Effectively ending the current transition chapter of our lives. It's been five months since we moved. We've settled on a church, neighborhood, and preschool. Cole is already friends with five of the children that will be in her class next year! I know my way around town enough not to need the GPS. And we have friends. Friends that offered to watch the girls when we moved. Friends that popped-in on the day we closed just to say, "Hi" and offer help. It's overwhelming and, yet, not surprising. This is exactly where we are supposed to be, even on the days my heart aches to be back in Tennessee.

Even finding our new home was a testament to the people we have met here. Many of the best houses in Newark are sold by owner or even just through word of mouth. I'd been looking diligently for months with no success when two of my friends mentioned the same white house for sale by owner in their neighborhood.  The day I drove by was the day we told the owners we hoped to work out a deal.

Our new house sits on half of an acre, has four bedrooms, a playroom, dreamy hardwood floors, and lots of wallpaper. It'll keep us busy. Nearly every surface of the home needs paint, the bathrooms need updating, and one day, in the distance future, the kitchen needs a makeover. But all of it is very livable for right now. We're so excited to make this new house a home. Hopefully, our long-term home.

I made sure to take pictures of the empty house so that we can track the progress as it becomes our home. Even if it happens at a snail's pace. We have time. And I have ideas.

Playroom

Kitchen

Living Room

Office

Yes

Moving during this time of the year means everyone is holed up indoors. It makes meeting people a bit more difficult. Of course, I'll approach people just about anywhere but it still isn't easy. Fortunately, I've started fresh enough times to know the secret to making friends: Just say, "Yes."

I say "yes" to everything.  I say it to others. And I say it to myself.

Should we go to a state-run playdate? Yes. Should I join a club for moms? Maybe a Meetup group? Yes and yes. Would we like to come over to play? Yes. Would we like to come for lunch? Yes.  Should I chase that gal down and get her number cause our kids are the same age and she seemed pretty cool? Yes. Twice, yes actually.

Moving is still hard and finding friends is a process, but I certainly won't find them if I stay in my house just missing Memphis.

...

Speaking of missing Memphis, these kids love Memphis. And this video is too sweet not to share. It's kind of like a highlight reel of the city:

12 Weeks In

We've been Delewareans for twelve weeks now. I've put my GPS away, registered Cole for preschool and figured out where I like to shop for groceries. I've exchanged numbers with a handful of women that I've met through BSF and clubs. We're getting closer to finding our church home and waiting anxiously for a house to be listed for sale in one of the neighborhoods we like.

I've realized Delaware is full of people in our same situation. I haven't actually met many people from Delaware. Most folks that I have met are from New Jersey, Maryland or Pennsylvania and have been in Delaware less than five years.

Winter here is chilly. We've seen nearly a foot of snow come and go.  My girls have had colds and Ibbie had a double ear infection. In light of all of this, we've watched a lot of George, which Cole calls, "ooh, ooh, eee, eee, eee, aah, aah."

Cole started to get her groove back before the snow melted so she took to her toys.  

 

We put a toddler side on Cole's crib this week. With her advanced climbing skills, we  probably should have done it awhile ago. So far, she is doing well. She is aware that she can get out of the bed but realizes that she is not supposed to.  Time marches on. 

Ibbie is such a babe! She rolls boths ways now which is pretty wild. And she loves to babble. It occurred to me, just recently, that she's lived in Delaware longer than she lived in Tennessee. She was just a wee thing when we moved but it still made me a bit teary. 

A few weeks ago, I registered Cole for her next round of gymnastics. She loves going to the gym and practicing her moves at home so it seemed like a good idea to stick with it. Peter always comes home from their Saturday class with video, so I made this: 

I miss Memphians everyday. I miss the city too, but mostly the people.  But somehow, at twelve weeks in, everything here still feels new and curiously familiar. I tell people, "We just moved" when I'm sure that should shift to "We moved in November." 

The Thing About Hard Days

Last weekend the hard drive of our computer had to be replaced.  There were no warning signs that the hard drive was failing, but fortunately everything was backed up and I replaced it before anything mildly tragic happened. Still, having the hard drive replaced, and concurrently upgrading the operating system, reset my computer. I transferred my files and am working to learn the new system.

Last Monday, after the computer had been repaired and upgraded, I went to print a coloring sheet for Cole. Wouldn't you know it? Our printer couldn't be found. I don't know why, but that was it. It being the thing that made the enormity of this move very, very real. Not only do we have to find a church, a house, friends, a school, favorite eateries, and a preferred grocery store in this brand new town, but I realized I had to find my way around this new computer. It may seems silly but thats what happened. It was a hard day.

Being the extreme extrovert I am, going from a very social schedule in Memphis to a schedule with very little social interaction other than what I plan is tough. And I knew it would be. It's hard to imagine moving across the country without a few [gallons of] tears, add to that a toddler, an infant,  post-partum hormones, and the realization that establishing yourself takes more than a month and the water works are just to be expected. So there were tears. And comforting from my husband and a friend in Memphis who just happened to call to catch up.

The nice thing about hard days is that they don't last forever. The rest of the week was better. It seems we've developed a clear sense of where we'd like to live which is major. The girls and I went to story time at the library, bible study, open gym at the gymnastics center, and a club event for stay-at-home moms and their children. Anything to get out of the house! So we're out there, making an effort to meet people and getting to know this town.

I know that we are exactly where we're supposed to be. And there are going to be more hard days ahead. Some may be related to the move and some may not, just because this is life and life is hard. But the Lord is faithful. I've met three other young moms at bible study and one lives in my neighborhood. And she goes to the same library story time I do. And our kids really like each other. This is a young relationship that I'm so very thankful for.

I'm working on accepting our new home as it is, rather than constantly comparing it to Memphis. There's just no fruit to that behavior. Also, it's unfair. My love for Memphis and the people in that city developed over seven years and we've only been here for eight weeks. Hard days remind me how grateful I am for our time the South and fill me with anticipation for brighter days here. Now if I can just remember that on the hard days.

The Townhouse

We decided to rent a house, at least initially, so that we can get to know the area and determine where exactly we'd like to settle. Peter found the house with the help of our friend's mother, who just so happens to be our new next door neighbor. The house is nice little 3 bedroom, 1½ bathroom townhouse. There is an amazing park down the street but with the recent snow we've essentially been home bound. Since we are still working on meeting people, the girls and I are seeing a whole lot of one another. This new house is very colorful. Very, very colorful compared to our old house. 

We have a lime green bathroom, a three color kitchen, and a master bedroom with a blue accent wall. Personally, I'm not a huge fan of accent walls but since it's a rental my opinion of the wall color is irrelevant. The house has three stories which means lots of stairs. The top floor has the bedrooms, the basement is all storage, so we live on the second floor which is the living room and kitchen. Our living room is a soft yellow with three purple accent walls and curtains to match. I call it the purple room.

The purple room is our living space and playroom. There's no television (because there is no where to put it) so it's all toys all the time. And music, we've got to have some music. Life in the purple room isn't so bad.  It's a bit crowded, since the dogs like to hang with us, but we're making do. Odds are we won't be in this house for more than a year or two, if that, but it's a fine pit stop. 

Two Weeks In

We've been in our new home for two weeks now. We're unpacked and settled into the house. I'm still adjusting to life without a fenced-in yard and the million set of stairs in this house (really it's just five: three inside and two outside). As far as settling into the town, that is a work in progress. We've been to a couple of churches and have another on our short list. Hopefully we'll find a home church soon so that we can start building relationships with people in our community. It's a bit odd to go from our very scheduled, very social weeks to weeks with blank schedules and no planned socializing.  I've met a few people at the park and mall and Target but that's it.
 
I'm grateful every day for Memphis and our time there! Our friends, church, and neighborhood were all so special. I'm working diligently not to compare things here to there. It's just very different! One thing we all miss is Mother's Day Out! As far as I can tell, it does not exist in the mid-Atlantic. And it seems that the local preschools don't take children until they are at least two or often three. We're looking forward to putting down new roots though admittedly not necessarily the time it tastes to grow those roots. It's a lesson in patience but fortunately we're all still above water.

It was great to be able to spend Thanksgiving with my family and not miss but a night sleeping in our own beds. Skipping the hoopla of holiday travel made Thanksgiving so manageable. I can only hope and imagine that in the coming weeks there will be exponential growth as far as our feelings of being "settled" are concerned.

 

1,150 Miles

Our journey from Tennessee to Delaware in less than two and a half minutes: 

Cheers and Tears

We've been on the road for three days with one left. We've driven for a total of 12 hours with 5.25 hours left to go today. Considering the circumstances, everyone is doing extremely well but we are all ready to be reunited with Peter, home. Last night when we got out of the car, Cole went wild. Fortunately, I had forethought enough to book an Airbnb for the evening so there was room for her to roam. And run.

Before we left Memphis, two going away celebrations were thrown in our honor. The first was hosted by the Swens before Peter's departure and attended by many of his coworkers and their significant others. Erin opted for a "Fiesta" theme which was perfect. And delicious.

The second was a celebration with many of my girlfriends. The timing was perfect! It was my last night in our house before the movers packed everything up. While no one was terribly excited about the reason for the occasion, it was a great evening filled with love and laughter.

It was our dear friends that made Memphis home. And we will miss seeing each and every one of them regularly. While it's hard to spend weeks saying, "Goodbye" or, rather, "See you later," I feel like I had adequate time to do so. With friends popping in daily for weeks, our departure didn't feel rushed even though it arrived in the blink of an eye.

The Right Move

On July 25, Peter got an email from a recruiter about a position in Maryland. I was in my third trimester with our second child in two years and we were about to leave for vacation. He was not looking for a new job. The fact the the job was in the mid-Atlantic caught Peter's attention and after reading the description Peter told me he was interested.  Then asked if he should apply. For years, we've talked about moving closer to family but the timing seemed so unlikely, unfavorable even. We decided there was no harm in applying, knowing that there were many steps between applying and relocating. We began to pray that the Lord would make the decision very easy and crystal clear. While all prayers are not answered in such blatant ways, these were.

After his initial conversation with the recruiter led to a phone interview with the company, Peter was asked to an on site interview. At the time he was asked to travel for the interview, I was full-term with Ibbie. So, as you may remember, my sister came to visit. I didn't have Ibbie while Peter was gone but we were so glad to have the bases covered. Recently, my sister got a new job that requires her to be in office so the timing was fortunate. Following the interview, Peter was confident he wanted the job.  We continued to pray that the decision would be easy, particularly if he received an offer.

On the day he received the offer, we saw just how clearly the Lord was calling us to leave. Every detail of the relocation was covered by the company. Things we never imagined would be taken care of were included: the movers, temporary-corporate housing, even our realtor fees. Peter's new employer was flexible with his start date. Initially they asked him to start October 7, but they were happy to oblige his request for two more weeks in Memphis. On October 18, Peter and the dogs left for Maryland, leaving Cole, Ibbie and I in Memphis for an additional 3.5 weeks to handle logistics and visit doctors.

While the three weeks single parenting with a house on the market could have been overwhelming, the Lord took care of all of the details. First off, our house sold in five days! I only had to keep the house "show ready" for five days! That was no small miracle. During the inspection, only three cosmetic issues were noted. I was able to handle two of them and the third my amazing neighbor volunteered to take care of. Secondly, we found ourselves very busy with school, play dates, and bible studies so we didn't have too much time to worry about any day but the present one. Thirdly, my girls began sleeping at night. In the last three weeks, Cole learned to sleep through the night! I changed her nighttime routine and moved her bedtime to 6 o'clock and, wouldn't you know it, she started sleeping for twelve hours. She is still a restless sleeper but she's able to self-soothe now. Ibbie is quite a different newborn than Cole was. Ib will gladly sleep for 5 to 7 hours at night which means just one nighttime feeding if I go to bed around 11 o'clock. Fourth, we've had guests! The first week, Aunt Lisa came to visit for a few days. The next week, my dear friend Erica came with her son. Peter was able to come home for a quick weekend trip in early November. Then my mom arrived on November 8 to help with final preparations and co-pilot our four day drive. Finally, I didn't have to cook dinner. My incredible and irreplaceable girlfriends created a calendar and brought me dinner (and in some cases breakfast and lunch) every single day.

When I find myself overwhelmed with the move, anxious about starting over, or dwelling on all that we are leaving behind, I realize that I am suffering short-term memory loss. If I consider everything that came together to make this move so easy, I know that we are on our way to where we are meant to be. Even as I fret over making new friends, I remember that we started attending our church in Memphis in April and within a matter of months, we had dear friends and were part of a solid community. Shoot, when we moved to Memphis we only knew each other. I didn't even like the city for two years. My, how time changes things!

The Lord is faithful whether our circumstances are favorable or not. But we know it all works for His good. I'm grateful that He has gone ahead of us and that His scope is wider than mine. I'm excited to embrace our new home in the mid-Atlantic and hopeful about the life we will find there.

I'm also grateful for social media and cheap flights to MEM, so we won't feel so far away. 

The Goodbye Song

In the last two weeks, Cole has taken to saying, "Bye" to everything we pass while driving.  I call it the Goodbye Song. Last Tuesday my eyes welled with tears as we drove down Walnut Grove and she said "Bye" to the library, to the coffee shop, and to each and every car we passed. While she has very little concept of "Goodbye," I know that we are in a season of goodbyes and a time is coming that will be be saying, "Bye" to the library and everything else for the final time. 

One week from today we will load up the car for a four-day road trip that will take us to our new home in the Mid-Atlantic. This week we are doing many things in Memphis for the last time. We had our last Funday Monday play date yesterday since next Monday we'll be packing. Today I went to bible study at our church for the last time and tomorrow will be my last time with my BSF group in Memphis. Cole will be going to her little school three more times before we leave, but that's it. Only three! She's been going to school since she was three months old. It took awhile, but eventually Cole fell in love with her teachers and classmates. It's now the highlight of her week! In her new class, she blossomed. My girl will walk herself right in without so much as a look back which is quite the contrast to the screaming, itty bitty baby I dropped off in May 2012.
In truth, I'm struggling to comprehend the end of our time as Memphis. My head knows the move is around the corner but my heart doesn't. As I watched the new owner of our house have his picture taken by the front door, I held back tears. Time is marching on and all the necessary things are falling into place but it's still hard to leave a place we've grown to love so much. I imagine a week from now, almost to the minute, as we head out of town, we'll all be singing a tearful, joyful, bittersweet Goodbye Song.

Listed

With the move mere weeks away, we put the house on the market.  What a unique challenge trying to keep the house looking it's best while at home with a toddler and newborn is proving to be! I'm trying but that mostly means leaving the house as much as possible. Hopefully it won't take too long before someone else sees what a gem this house is and snatches it up. The listing pictures are better than every picture I've ever taken of our interior so I thought I'd share a few.

And, of course, if you know anyone looking for a house in Midtown Memphis send them this way. 

Leaving Home

There are times in life when you are ready to leave home, like before going to college. You spend years preparing for the change, knowing you'll have to establish a presence in your new place. There are also times when you don't have years of preparation before leaving home.

Six years ago, I followed Peter from Clemson to Memphis. It wasn't immediate, but after two years it became home. We have grown to love this city and our little place in it. In the past six years, I have adopted the term: Memphian by choice. This city has been so special to us. Our first house is in Memphis, our first jobs were in Memphis, our baby girls were born in Memphis, this city is absolutely a part of us.  We have been abundantly blessed with a large community of people who know and love us. Still, we have longed to live closer to our families for years and that longing has been amplified by the birth of our daughters.

Earlier this week, Peter accepted a job in Maryland. We'll be one hour from my family in Baltimore and one hour from Peter's relatives in Philadelphia. While we are thrilled to be moving closer to family, we are sad about leaving our home.

Peter wasn't looking for a job, but since the position in Maryland crossed his desk in late July it has been very clear where God is leading. We are praying to embrace and understand His perfect timing. In the upcoming weeks we'll be getting ourselves organized for the move while getting to know our newest addition. Of course that will mean selling our little house in Midtown — the home we returned to after our honeymoon, where we hosted our first Thanksgiving, and first brought our children back to from the hospital.

I would love to reach out and tell our friends individually but with a newborn that just isn't an option. We covet your prayers during this transition. Our hearts are heavy knowing we'll be leaving our home, but we're optimistic about what the Lord has in store for us as we establish ourselves in a new place.